How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less — Interactive Mindmaps

How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less by Nicholas Boothman Book Cover

by Nicholas Boothman

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Nicholas Boothman's How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less breaks connection into three stages—meeting, rapport, and communicating—with tools like the five-part greeting, a Really Useful Attitude, and sensory-preference profiling. Written for professionals, job seekers, salespeople, and socially hesitant readers who want to build trust quickly through practice.

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Chapter mindmaps

Free preview: chapters 1–4 are fully interactive. Click any node to expand or collapse. Subscribe to unlock the rest.

Chapter 1: 1. People Power

Key concepts: 1. People Power

People Power

People as the Greatest Resource

  • Connecting with others is the greatest resource for success.
  • People supply money, work, service, comfort, and care.
  • Even solitary artists hope their work reaches an audience.
  • A connected community frees energy for growth.

Connection and Health

  • Socially active people live longer and keep brains young.
  • Lacking social ties triples risk of death from illness.
  • Isolation harms health regardless of other factors.
  • Emotional well-being depends on feedback from others.

Face-to-Face vs. Online

  • Online groups help but are poor substitutes for in-person contact.
  • Face-to-face reveals nonverbal cues and true openness.
  • In-person interaction builds supportiveness and companionship.
  • Keep face-to-face contact in your routine.

Why Likability Works

  • Likability signals willingness to connect and builds trust.
  • It's more about how you make people feel than looks.
  • A warm, easygoing demeanor attracts others.
  • Likability captures attention; rapport holds it.

The 90-Second Window

  • People judge friend or foe in 90 seconds or less.
  • Presence, attitude, and how you make people feel matter.
  • Make availability visible through posture, expression, warmth.
  • Connecting skills can be switched on when needed.

Chapter 2: 2. First Impressions

Key concepts: 2. First Impressions

First Impressions

The Greeting Sequence

  • Open: positive attitude, open body, heart aimed, arms uncrossed
  • Eye: make eye contact first, practice naming eye colors
  • Beam: smile first as reflection of attitude
  • Hi!: pleasant voice, own name, handshake, use their name

Handshake and Hands-Free Alternative

  • Firm, respectful grip like ringing for room service
  • Avoid bonecrusher or wet noodle; confusion causes withdrawal
  • Hands-free: keep heart, eyes, smile aimed but drop hand
  • Useful for presentations and when handshake doesn't fit

Firing Energy Exercise

  • Circle ~12 feet; one person fires energy to another
  • Six channels: body, heart, eyes, smile, clap, voice/breath
  • Receiver fires to someone else until all struck three times
  • Aim for subtlety; use same flash with cashiers, waiters, etc.

Rapport and Communication Cycle

  • Rapport: shared ground, comfortable zone where minds meet
  • Four capacities: positive attitude, synchronizing, conversation, VAK
  • Communication meaning = response received; sender responsible
  • KFC: Know what you want, Find out what you're getting, Change until you get it

Key Takeaways

  • Make opening four seconds a fixed sequence: attitude, torso, eyes, smile, name, lean
  • Use firm handshake or hands-free; keep chest, eyes, smile aimed
  • Practice circle exercise until coordinated burst becomes automatic
  • Own results: state goal affirmatively, watch responses, redesign approach

Chapter 3: 3. “There’s Something About This Person I Really Like!”

Key concepts: 3. “There’s Something About This Person I Really Like!”

“There’s Something About This Person I Really Like!”

The Critical First Impression

  • You have about 90 seconds to make a good first impression.
  • Rapport makes you believable, leading to mutual trust.
  • Without rapport, people focus on you, not your message.
  • Spend the opening minute making the other person feel understood.

Natural Rapport

  • Humans naturally sync with others, like animals and plants.
  • Shared interests create instant connection and ease.
  • Society often trains us to fear strangers, hindering rapport.
  • Rapport is essential for sanity, growth, and survival.

Rapport by Chance

  • Shared language or hometown quickly creates temporary friendship.
  • Chance encounters happen daily at work, stores, and transit.
  • Friendships may fade when only language or location connects you.
  • Give such friendships more to stand on to make them last.

Rapport by Design

  • Deliberately reduce distance by finding common ground and becoming like the other person.
  • Mirror posture, gestures, facial expressions, and vocal rhythms.
  • Use your native tools: attitude, appearance, body, voice, and curiosity.
  • Treat each encounter as a puzzle to solve and a game to enjoy.

Key Takeaways

  • Credibility and trust come from making the other person feel understood.
  • Create connection on purpose when no natural link exists.
  • Enjoy easy warmth but build deeper foundations for lasting friendship.
  • Work with your existing equipment: observation, curiosity, and adaptability.

Chapter 4: 4. Attitude Is Everything

Key concepts: 4. Attitude Is Everything

Attitude Is Everything

Mind and Body as One System

  • Attitude shapes thoughts, tone, word choice, and body language.
  • Once an attitude takes hold, conscious control over signals is limited.
  • Body plays out the pattern, affecting relationships and outcomes.

Really Useful vs. Really Useless Attitudes

  • Useful attitudes like cheery and interested benefit everyone at no cost.
  • Useless attitudes stem from not knowing what you want (KFC: Know what you want).
  • Useless attitudes leak out as boredom, impatience, or hostility.

Choose Your Attitude with a Goal

  • Ask what you want and which attitude serves it.
  • Rapport works better than indignation when seeking help.
  • Warmth is the favorite first-meeting attitude; it triggers feel-good chemicals.

Imagination Drives Attitude

  • Imagination is stronger than willpower and works through senses.
  • Feed it vivid, concrete material to magnify desired attitudes.
  • It twists reality for better or worse, so choose inputs carefully.

Anchor Attitudes with Physical Triggers

  • Relive a memory of the attitude at full sensory intensity.
  • Clench fist at peak to bind the state to the gesture.
  • Test the trigger until it fires reliably.
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