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The Explosive Child [Sixth Edition] by Ross W. Greene PhD Book Cover

by Ross W. Greene PhD

Ross W. Greene PhD's The Explosive Child [Sixth Edition] introduces the Collaborative & Proactive Solutions model, reframing explosive behavior as a sign of lagging skills rather than willful defiance. It provides parents and educators with a step-by-step framework for identifying unsolved problems and solving them collaboratively, reducing conflict and building essential life skills.

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Chapter mindmaps

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Chapter 1: 1. The Waffle Episode

Key concepts: 1. The Waffle Episode

1. The Waffle Episode

The Waffle Incident

  • Jennifer erupts over brother's waffle request
  • Pushes mother, seizes waffles, retreats to room
  • Debbie and Riley end up crying
  • Father Kevin will soon return to learn of blowup

Failed Diagnoses and Treatments

  • Multiple diagnoses: ODD, bipolar, IED, DMDD
  • Labels don't explain causes or prevention
  • Standard parenting strategies all failed
  • Meltdowns grew more intense despite interventions

Family's Perpetual Crisis

  • Volatility requires constant parental vigilance
  • Drains energy from brother Riley and marriage
  • Jennifer has no close friends due to rigid personality
  • Mother admits: 'It is humiliating to be scared of your own daughter'

Parental Dilemma After Meltdowns

  • Debbie fears telling Kevin will trigger punishment cycle
  • Not telling risks Kevin accusing her of undermining authority
  • Jennifer watches video—peace at cost of rewarding bad behavior
  • Debbie concludes: 'In this family, there is no such thing as a nice day'

Promise of a New Approach

  • Standard strategies can make things worse
  • Behavior has biological basis, not poor parenting
  • First understand why child responds poorly to frustration
  • Then apply strategies far different from traditional discipline

Chapter 2: 2. Your New Lenses Have Arrived

Key concepts: 2. Your New Lenses Have Arrived

2. Your New Lenses Have Arrived

Core Philosophy: Kids Do Well If They Can

  • Behavior is skill-based, not motivation-based
  • Lagging skills cause unmet expectations
  • Key deficits: flexibility, frustration tolerance, problem-solving

Lucky vs. Unlucky Behaviors

  • Lucky: crying, pouting, withdrawal (gets empathy)
  • Unlucky: screaming, hitting, destruction (gets punishment)
  • Both communicate: 'I'm stuck on an expectation'

Diagnoses Are Not Solutions

  • Labels like ADHD or ODD offer validation, not roadmap
  • Diagnoses imply problem is inside the child
  • They don't identify specific lagging skills

Shift to Unsolved Problems

  • Focus on unmet expectations, not behaviors
  • Unsolved problems are predictable and identifiable
  • Solving problems stops concerning behavior permanently

Path Forward: Proactive Problem-Solving

  • Rewards and punishments don't address root causes
  • Identify problems before they escalate to crisis
  • Book teaches how to solve problems collaboratively

Chapter 3: 3. Lagging Skills

Key concepts: 3. Lagging Skills

3. Lagging Skills

Core Concept: Lagging Skills

  • Child lacks skills, not motivation
  • Explains why child can't handle frustration
  • Shifts focus from blame to understanding
  • Opens door to genuine help

Assessment of Lagging Skills & Unsolved Problems (ALSUP)

  • Simple checklist to identify lagging skills
  • Use without overthinking
  • Reveals skills that were always there
  • Brings feelings of regret or guilt

Specific Lagging Skills

  • Difficulty solving problems or finding solutions
  • Trouble expressing concerns in words
  • Inability to regulate emotions
  • Cognitive inflexibility and black-and-white thinking

Letting Go of Misleading Labels

  • Attention-seeking and manipulation are inaccurate
  • Unmotivated and bad choices ignore skill deficits
  • Bad attitude stems from being misunderstood
  • Replace labels with 'problems in living'

Practical Benefits of This Perspective

  • Respond with compassion instead of frustration
  • Anticipate situations where child struggles
  • Most skills improve by solving unsolved problems
  • Takes time for both parents to adopt

Chapter 4: 4. Unsolved Problems

Key concepts: 4. Unsolved Problems

4. Unsolved Problems

Predictability of Unsolved Problems

  • Behaviors are triggered by recurring unmet expectations
  • Identify 5-12 specific expectations causing issues
  • Shift from crisis management to crisis prevention

Guideline 1: No Mention of Behavior

  • Start every problem with the word 'difficulty'
  • Delete all references to concerning behaviors
  • Avoid making kids defensive before problem-solving

Guideline 2: No Adult Theories

  • Never include 'because' in unsolved problems
  • Adult theories about causes are usually wrong
  • Let the child explain what's actually hard

Guideline 3: Split, Don't Clump

  • List each specific task as separate problem
  • Avoid broad categories like 'homework'
  • Splitting reveals true scope of challenges

Prioritizing What to Solve First

  • Start with safety-related problems
  • Consider frequency and impact on life
  • Pick top three; rest go on back burner

Chapter 5: 5. The Truth About Consequences

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Chapter 6: 6. Three Options

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Chapter 7: 8. The Nuances

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Chapter 8: 9. The Questions

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Chapter 9: 10. Your Family

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Chapter 10: 11. Unsolved Problems at School

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Chapter 11: 12. Better

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